Donald closed all his ClickBank accounts…Hooray!…??

Donald sent us this baffling message which I'm guessing is based on some sort of secret code as he's a Colonel in the United States Army:
 
"Gentlemen, I am ready, willing, and able to start your # 1 program and thought I accomplished this last night late…I cannot get beyond the 2nd page of your message to me today… I would very much like to get started and thought I had signed up last for your Number One Program…You should also know that I directed ClkBank to close all of my accounts last night and they kindly notified me they had done so a few hours ago."
 
Please enlighten me,

Sincerely, Donald

Our reply:

"Are you talking about Surefire Success?
I haven't seen you in the forum there.

I help a lot of people out over there.

Congratulations on closing your Clickbank accounts, whatever that
means.

I went ahead and unsubsubscribed you from this list."

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