"I expected to find, frankly, less research as I dug through hundreds of scientific articles on the naturalness of forgiveness but, boy, was I wrong. As it turns out, a lot of biologists have been trying to figure out what allows human beings to be the cooperative creatures that we are. We're cooperative with each other in a way that really makes us pretty unique among mammals for sure. You know, we cooperate with our relatives, but lots of animals do that. But we go further and we cooperate with people we've never met. We cooperate with people that we're not related to. And by virtue of our ability to cooperate with each other, we can build magnificent cities and radio stations and do all kinds of wonderful things. But one of the ingredients you have to have to get individuals to cooperate with each other is a tolerance for mistakes."
- Michael McCullough - professor of psychology at the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Florida, director of the Laboratory for Social and Clinical Psychology, and teacher in the Department of Religious Studies (from NPR Radio Interview - see references at end of this article)
"What's going to work? Teamwork!" - WonderPets
The power of forgiveness in business
If you're going to be successful in business, you're going to have to deal with all sorts of people. There are hotheads, nice guys (and women), arrogants (always right), talkers (ramblers), non-stop helpful advice givers, and crazy people.
I've probably fallen into most of those categories at one time or another and anyone who's read any of this site over any period of time knows that while I'm typically always helpful I'm not always nice.
And that brings me to the power of forgiveness in business. Whatever your particular beliefs are, there's no denying that forgiveness is a powerful skill to acquire. Why? Because forgiveness is directly tied to co-operation (and possibly to resiliency). And two critical factors most successful business people have that I've known are their ability to co-operate amongst diverse personalities and their ability to bounce back and keep going.
So what does foregiveness accomplish? It helps you get past anger onto productive momentum. It keeps teams working together instead of playing the "I'm right, you're wrong game." It shows a maturity that few people have.
I'm going to admit here that there are times in my life that I act completely irrationally. While I've learned to handle the stress of running multiple businesses, and running this site which can be incredibly stressful, sometimes I really DO crack under pressure.
In fact up until about my early 30s I suffered from fairly regular anxiety which manifested itself in the form of obsessive compulsive disorder (which wasn't diagnosed until my 30s). I would literally drive back from work multiple times to check if the door was locked, and then check the door multiple times while at the door. And I had an irrational fear of the number "7". AND if it got really bad I would have non-stop ruminating thoughts that would sometimes take me into extreme paranoia - which is somewhat ironic if you consider a lot of the subject matter of this site.
Luckily, by the time I was diagnosed with OCD in my 30s there was very good treatment for it through various forms of therapy and better medication. And now it's not nearly as taboo as it used to be to talk about such things.
However, even though it literally has felt like a miracle to be where I am today versus how I was when in the darkest throws of OCD, there are STILL times - although VERY rare where under enormous stress my OCD will manifest itself in the worst possible way - irrational behavior and extreme paranoia - and at it's worst strange accusations against people I'm close to that make no sense at all.
But luckily the very worst times for my OCD are few and far between. There was a period about 8 1/2 years ago where I literally felt like I was going crazy and there was a time this past month (which is why I'm writing this now). Othere than that, there are fairly minor periods of "OCD annoyances" and it passes MUCH more quickly and it's extraordinarly rare.
Ironically there's a strange upside to the worst times - both times I've seemed to produce alot of really good ideas during that period. I'll keep those.
But there's another upside to my relapses. It's during those times that I discover who my real friends are and who my best business partners are.
They are the ones who forgive quickly and get back on track with the business at hand. They are the ones who are mature enough to be able to say "gee, that's out of character for him" and not throw away years of good history. They are the ones who are not the type to hold a grudge, which as far as I can tell is an increditly important factor in resiliency and good relationships in general. They are the ones who might even at least Look for a "grain of truth" even when someone's irrational behavior accuses them of flaws or motives that are for the most part not there - or not there at all.
And I'm proud to say that I've learned and been able to practice the power of forgiveness quite well myself…but it wasn't easy. It's NOT an easy skill to learn. And it is a skill and it does take practice. And it's worth it.
Not only can it move your business along quickly. But it can take you from a state of anger and misery to a state of joy in record time.
It's one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself, to others, and to the world.
Oh, and it makes for one heck of a killer business skill!
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